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Wilderness Amen

by The Ghost Pines

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1.
Running 03:59
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Through the Rocky Mountain passes where the Eagle River flows Lightning tells in flashes what the thunder knows Colorado starts to ghost away the rivers turn and run I’m westbound on the highway chasin' down the sun (C) Runnin' through the granite hills running through the pines Fifteen years behind the wheel are runnin' through my mind Running through the daylight, and through the darkness, too Hoping all this running will bring me back to you I’m winding through the canyons now I’m unraveling the maze The bright lights of the city are blurring in the haze And the great salt flats of Utah are painted rose-pink by the light I’m doing 80 through the sunset to race the coming night (C) Running 'neath the skyscrapers running ‘cross the plains Fifteen hours I've run around in circles in my brain Running through the desert sand in a pair of stolen shoes Hoping all this running will bring me back to you Now the stars are shining down on me like highbeams from the sky The embers of a campfire reflected in my eyes As I lay beneath this bowl of stars a brief wilderness amen I know that when the morning comes I'll be running once again (C) Running through the wildfire Running through the tuff Fifteen days of running and I think I've had enough Running 'neath the sky when I probably should have flew Hoping all this running will bring me back to you
2.
Better To Have Loved 03:46
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Oh Lord, what have I done? Caught myself tryin’ to love someone and I’m beggin’ of you please tell me there’s a way to put my mind at ease (C) Ohh what have I done? Ohh what have I done? Oh Lord, what have I done? Caught myself tryin’ to hold someone I know better, yes I know But I just can’t seem to let her go (C) Oh Lord, what have I done? Caught myself tryin’ to lose someone thought I’d be happier on my own but now I’m cryin’ by the telephone (C) Oh Lord, what have I done? Taught myself how to forget someone now the love we had is dead and there’s a hole in my heart instead (C)
3.
Cassie's Song 01:26
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4.
Millie 04:22
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Millie and I fell in love when I was just a boy the whole world was our sandbox, and I was just her toy I wrapped myself around her finger like a diamond ring and we’d go dancin’ ‘neath the stars at night and I could hear her sing, and she’d sing (C, ad lib) As soon as we both finished school, we went out on the road (As soon as we both finished school, we headed to the west) wherever millie had in mind, that’s where I was gonna go (Because TV shows and movies taught us that it was the best) we thought our love was freedom, but we were chained and bound reality was close behind and she was gaining ground Late one night the car broke down just outside South Bend there was no way I could have known that this would be the end our blanket was the wild sky, the backseat was our bed our love it sang a lullaby and this is what it said (C) When we woke up at sunrise, something small had changed but in a way my whole wide world had just been rearranged when we rolled out of Indiana, everything seemed fine but even then Millie must have known way back in her mind ‘Cause by the time I got to California I was on my own she’d disappeared one night and left me sleeping all alone I found a note stuck in my pocket later on that day she’d hitched a ride back home and there was nothing left to say (C) Now it’s been a year since Millie left and I’ve been doin’ fine It hurts sometimes but then they say that all wounds heal with time But on cloudy days I see her eyes in faces that I meet and her voice laughs just like the raindrops splashing in the street, she laughs like (C)
5.
Idyll 04:17
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So you dreamed of a place Bright sun and blue sky And a smile on your face That never had to die And as you walked through the fields The grass tickled your feet Flowers bloomed at your heels And the birds sang high and sweet (C1) Hey, little sister, where are you gonna go? When the thunder rolls and the wind begins to blow? And even deep in the woods Sunlight dappled the ground You weren’t weighed down by shoulds and the wolves were nowhere around And from up in the hills The land spread out below The wind was so still And there was no ice or snow (C1) You drank when you were thirsty From where the streams fed the lakes You ate when you were hungry There was always more to take And at night you laid down On a bed of soft dirt And the moon came around To ease all of your hurts (C1) I dreamed of a place Cold stars and dark sky I thought I was awake But I couldn’t close my eyes (C2) Hey there, little sister, where are we gonna go? Oh, the wind it howls and these days are ice and snow
6.
Birdsong 04:42
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You wake up to the sunrise heating up the tent Surrounded by the aromatic pines You left behind a dream, but you aren’t sure what it meant From the scattered bits and pieces you can find You were high above the valley, looking down below As the shadows of the clouds played on the ground You’d spread your wings and floated down to get a better look Just before you were awakened by a sound Awake now to the heat of your tiny nylon nest You unzip the door and step into the light You shake your head to clear the fog left over from your rest Wipe away the sleep collected in your eyes All around, the forest’s also rising with the sun Waking from its own peculiar dream You hear the sound that woke you up repeated once again Shattering the stillness of this natural scene Perching on a branch of an adolescent tree The blackbird cocks his head and meets your eye Then he flaps his wings and rises just to show you that he’s free Like he knows that you just dreamed that you could fly You wish that you could follow as he rises toward the clouds But the earth still holds you firmly in your place Why were people made to walk instead of fly A curse that only dreaming can erase? I wake up to the sunrise heating up the tent Surrounded by the aromatic pines As I step outside the nest, I’m wondering where you went Unprepared for what it is I’ll find Your shadow on the ground shrinks, and as I look up I see your body silhouetted in the light I smile as your wings flap, you rise into the sky And I watch until you pass beyond my sight
7.
Jezebel 04:28
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I met her at the back of a paperback book One thing led to another like the verse to the hook Then we were on the run across the USA Being chased by the ghosts of the great highway I asked her “Hey, little lady, won’t you take my hand?” She looked at me like I was crazy and said “Listen here, man It’s 2018, not 1902 But stick around awhile, I might be good for you” So when she handed me the apple, I took a bite And thirty minutes later I was feeling alright I pulled off onto the shoulder when I lost my grip And she took the wheel while I took a trip I could smell the colors, I could taste the dawn And I saw the crystal palace of Kubla Khan I knew hell below, I knew heaven above And I knew enough to know that I was falling in love (C) Jezebel, Jezebel, oh Jezebel, you cast your spell Jezebel, Jezebel, my Jezebel, it’s my soul to sell (?) Jezebel, oh my Jezebel I woke up to the sound of my favorite song Looking out at the desert as we rolled along Told Jezebel my throat was dry as a bone While Bob Dylan sang like a rolling stone So she stopped the car and she led the way As we walked across the sand in the heat of the day Until about four in the afternoon When she found us an oasis in-between the dunes As I kneeled by the water for to quench my thirst Jezebel dove into the pool headfirst I saw the pile of her clothes that she’d left behind And it was then that I knew what she had on her mind When I looked back up she was standing there On the opposite shore in her underwear When she grinned at me, I knew I couldn’t say no And you can prob’ly guess how the next part goes (C) We walked out of the oasis hand in hand And everywhere we stepped, flowers grew from the sand We didn’t need to eat by the sweat of my brow ‘Cuz everything we needed came right out of the ground By the time we got back to her Volkswagen bus We’d brought a little Paradise along with us We got back on the road and headed east What used to be a desert was a forest of trees Now some might think I was her prey from the start She broke into my chest and stole my heart But my love’s locked down like a pirate’s treasure And if she took it from me, it was because I let her She’s not a princess and I’m not a prince But there’s a point to my story and it goes like this There was no devil on my shoulder tempting me down to hell Just an asphalt angel named Jezebel (C)
8.
She and Me 02:09
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Out among the pines where the west winds blow Me and my lady we like to go To find the places that nobody knows Nobody knows Nobody knows Snow on the mountains and sun on the trees Ain’t no place we’d rather be Then here where the world can still grow free Still grow free Still grow free We sleep with the darkness and rise with the sun And all day long we have so much fun Running everywhere that the jackrabbits run Jackrabbits run Jackrabbits run Now I love my lady like the land loves the sea The forest loves the fire and the flower loves the bee And out on the trail it’s just she and me She and me She and me We walk and we talk and we get to know Each other much better than if we didn’t go Out where the silence makes your true self show True self show True self show Day in and day out living outta our packs With food and shelter there’s nothing we lack I don’t know if we’ll ever come back Ever come back Ever come back I don’t know if we’ll ever come back Ever come back Ever come back
9.
Neal, Joan, and Me 08:21
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The whine of an eighteen wheeler Awoke me from a dream Where I had deep roots just like a dogwood tree And I stretched out toward the sunbeams Awake now in the car with my two friends As we drove on through the night One of them a little bit Neal Cassidy The other a real Joan Baez type From the twilit sky fell buckets full of rain As we threaded ‘tween the hills Heading south out of Ohio Away from bosses, rent, and bills (C) Through Wheeling, West Virginia To the Carolina pines We were practicing the art of getting lost To see what we might find Through Asheville and through Gatlinburg We let the miles roll And we learned which things were worth it to hold on to Just by letting go Just by letting go For the first two days we hopped from town to town Cruising pizza joints and bars On the third, we lit out for the woods To find somewhere with no cars Mountains grew out of the hills As we left the roads behind Exchanging asphalt for a muddy trail Traffic for peace of mind We spent that night under a net of stars That were shotgunned through the black We talked until the sunrise interrupted Then we packed up and made our way back (C) By day five, my bank account was dry And, well, our freedom wasn’t free I said we had to wake up for a little while But Neal, he disagreed We parted ways outside of Maggie Valley Both agreeing it was best Joan and I went north back to Ohio And Neal he headed west I didn’t even ask where he was going Before he left us there alone ‘Cause I knew someday our paths would cross again Further on down the road (C)
10.
Machine Of The Universe 04:25
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Two AM, roll out of bed, Cassiopeia hangs overhead Half-frozen piece of bread, and it’s time to go Mountain morning, before the dawn, I pull my gloves and boots back on Feet play a crackling song as I cross the snow The full moon shines to light my way And as the ridge climbs, the valley fades away A silver chain uncoils far below Climbers led by their headlamps’ glow Feet on the ice, eyes on the sky, hands on the stones The howl of the wind, the march of the stars, I’m not quite alone Breathe in, breathe out, step after step, slow but don’t stop My troubles I find, I left them behind when I started for the top Six AM and I can see the town, a yellow glow two miles down I’m on the last bit of level ground, so I stop for a break Then, the dawn begins to crack, the sky’s a lighter shade of black I sit down on my pack, and wait for the day When the sun rises from an orange cloud sea It paints the world in as far as I can see I know my place, then, looking down at the earth A tiny gear in the machine of the universe Feet in the dirt, eyes on the ground, one with the stone The wind is my lungs, the sun is my eyes, mountain and bone Holding my breath, balanced above, a thousand-foot drop This moment in time, it’s what I’d hoped I’d find when I started for the top
11.
Sleep Well, Beast 03:19
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12.
Montana 04:54
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The first time that I met you I was following my love Past the old mines and the ranchlands While the eagles wheeled above We were looking for a place nobody knew Somewhere that was off the map Somewhere that was true We spent three days out in a cabin in the woods We got to know each other and ourselves In a place that had no shoulds I drew a heart ‘round our initials in the dirt As she reached out for the sunlight In a pink Ohio shirt (C) Oh Montana Where I get high on elevation Where the sky’s The size of my imagination Oh Montana Where I learned to roam Oh my home Away from home I came back once I had learned to mountaineer Drove through Missoula and through Hamilton And then I disappeared Neal and I met up under a wildfire sky We walked into the Bitterroots And left the world behind Two days of climbing and we’d summitted the peak But on the way back down the sun set And things were looking pretty bleak We followed cairns with flashlights till the night turned into day And when the valley filled with sunlight I knew that we’d be okay (C) We came back to the cabin when the winter, with its snows Had turned all the trees to statues And had buried all the roads So we ditched the cars and loaded up the sleds Hiked on through an icy wonderland Our dogs ran up ahead Till in the fading of the day we saw a light A silhouette that was familiar Shelter from the coming night And as the wind and snow blew in throughout the week The fire and the laughter kept us warm A happy family (C)
13.
Amen 02:23
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about

As I've probably already mentioned elsewhere, all the writing, recording and production of all the music I've made since 2017 started with "Running."

It's not a particularly interesting story, to be honest. There's nothing mystical or special about the song itself, for that matter. I mean, I like it a lot: it's fun to play, it's got a few of my favorite lyrics that I've written in it, and it recounts a few experiences from my past (indirectly) that are great memories. But otherwise, it's a pretty straightforward folk song. There was something about the process of writing it, though, quickly and satisfyingly, that convinced me that I should spend the following twelve months or so writing more songs whenever possible. So I did.

It's no accident, then, that "Running" is the first song on the first album of a loose cycle of four albums: Wilderness Amen, Ride, Maps, and Fire and Rain. As the beginning of the cycle, this album is meant to serve as an awakening, a spring, and an amen.

To the "big three" monotheistic religions, "amen" serves as a confirmation, an affirmation, and in a way I guess this album could be those things. But I'm also a big fan of the apocryphal theory that "amen" derives from the name of the Egyptian god Amun, who was the god of air and breath. In this admittedly heretical derivation (because a word in the Bible couldn't come from Egypt, I guess), "amen" is also a word for, or perhaps the sound of, an exhalation. The moment before action. The peace before a storm. The deep breath before the plunge, to paraphrase another lower-"g" god.

Considering where the album cycle ends up (the apocalyptic cacophony of "Fire and Rain" > "(Rise)"), this album is meant to be the "fun" one. It's meant to capture a bit of that feeling of late spring and early summer, when it feels like anything is possible and every moment is on the cusp of blossoming into something new and exciting. Of the four albums, Wilderness Amen is the one that I think sounds the most like my pre-Asphalt Ghosts recordings, the ones influenced most heavily by 60s-era Dylan and modern folk singers like Mason Jennings. I kept the song structures and the arrangements fairly simple. The lyrics (I hope!) skew toward the uplifting, and are mostly about the transcendent joy of satisfying your wanderlust, and, ultimately, still getting home in time for dinner. Those themes turn a bit darker and more complex as the album cycle progresses, sure, but this album intentionally ends with "Amen," an instrumental meant to serve as a thematic coda and a reminder that, for now at least, all you need to do is breathe, and maybe keep an eye to the horizon to catch the appearance of the first star of the night.

As a proponent of the whole "death of the author" idea, I don't want to tell you what to think about each and every aspect of the album, because that would ruin the fun, but a few things you might find fun to know about Wilderness Amen, in closing...

Technically, the stolen shoes were stolen, but I didn't actually directly take them from anyone. And in my defense, I was literally about to die from heatstroke at the time, so I wasn't exactly thinking clearly.

"Better To Have Loved" -> "Cassie's Song" > "Millie" is one of my oldest song sequences, but I'd never recorded the entire suite in a way I actually liked until this album.

"Millie" is close to my heart for a lot of reasons, but one is because it's the only song I've ever been asked by an audience member to play again immediately after finishing. The encore of that show was literally just "Millie" and then "Millie" again. I did change the quoted verse from "Shelter From the Storm" the second time through, though, because why not?

"Idyll" was written about Donald Trump's Presidency and conversations I had with friends at the time about what did and didn't justify physical resistance to an oppressive regime. It was originally titled "Idyll #22," but I decided that was ridiculous.

Josh Ritter is one of my favorite songwriters, for his rapid-fire lyrics and his many references to other great works of art in his songs. "Jezebel" was my attempt to write a Josh Ritter song.

"Neal, Joan, and Me" is a more autobiographical song than most of my songs. Only the names were changed to protect the innocent. "Neal" ends up being a recurring character in a lot of the album cycle songs, and he's still a good friend in real life to this day. "Joan" and I went our separate ways eventually, but for good reasons.

"Machine of the Universe" combines a few of the most sublime, awe-inspiring experiences I've had in the wilderness into one song about alpine climbing in the middle of the night, which is an absolute blast if you've never done it.

"Sleep Well, Beast" is an instrumental eulogy for my dog Charley, who died during the album sessions.

In "Montana," the line is "as she reached out for the sunlight in a pink Ohio shirt." I've had a bunch of people ask me about that one already, so there it is.

Amen.

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released June 30, 2021

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The Ghost Pines Klamath Falls, Oregon

End-Times Americana.

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